je_joue_le_jeu

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 11:54:16 GMT

woohoo! kevin AND my dad and sister are all coming to visit! kevin's coming may 26th and dad and kel are coming june 3! so many visitors!!! (there's always room for more, however) :)

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 14:58:51 GMT

elizabeth is coming the 25th and we're going to prague!

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 12:15:40 GMT

going to the doctor in France isn't quite so scary as one might think. and he was a male one to boot. check that one off my list of things to do while in France...

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 18:43:30 GMT

i'm famous!!!

http://www.geocities.com/newmanroom436/room436sweethearts.html

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 18:29:01 GMT

life is good in the land of the france. for the moment, anyway. i had a nice weekend with X. we tried to have a quasi-picnic in the park but the snow and the wind made it too cold so we went home. we made the posters for the EPITECH St. Patrick's Day party. actually he made them and i gave comments. i suck at Photoshop. i should really take a class or something to learn how to do it. what else... um, today was my first real day of class. i didn't go last week cause i was still in the states. i was worried i wouldnt be able to find it but i did. i asked the planning dude. he sighed and rolled his eyes at the stupid foreigner but he helped me. my moyen age prof seems cool. very cheery. she's not making me give an oral presentation so that is definitely a plus. i dislike oral presentations in french with like the fire of a thousand suns. shudder. hopefully my other lit prof won't make me give one either and then i will be golden.

i also had my first day with my new babysitting people. i am doing it every monday afternoon. i go and pick the kids up from the school and watch them until the mom gets home. they are sweet kids. fairly well behaved and don't mock my french overmuch. the boy, eduoard, showed me his gameboy and made me watch him play for a good while.

that's about it. having dinner with michelle stark from benet on thursday. haven't seen her since graduation so that will be fun. hopefully phil can join us. crazy to think he's leaving paris soon. u of c quarters are darned short. it's sad when friends leave. even friends that i don't get to see much. lots of class and craziness tomorrow. you would think my life in france would be more exciting but it's not....

a plus!

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 18:29:24 GMT

first day at internship went ok. in the morning i felt a bit useless. the afternoon was better because they actually gave me something to do. i celebrated when i got home with a couple of glasses of very cheap wine. it's snowing in paris. which NEVER happens. it's really rather gross. hopefully it stops soon. i finished the first draft of the first responder class i am (hopefully) teaching next fall. should be exciting. xavier's home. turns out he didnt die in the desert. haven't seen him in 2 weeks. we'll see how it goes. that's all the news i have for the moment. home was wonderful. a couple more months in france. crazy how time flies...

a plus!

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 22:41:50 GMT

i imagined life different somehow. not sure how, but different. back in france. missing home. i keep getting emotional and i can't quite put a finger on why. we all know that i don't cry much but i did then. driving back from u of i early thursday morning. wanting things that i can't have. i hope i'm growing up right. that i did something right in leaving. i think i did. rayya and jenny and i went out for cheap wine tonight and we slipped right back into our patterns but i think something changed in me when i was home. home was awesome. france is awesome too usually but there's this frustration every time i come back here. frustration with living. frustration with my daily french existence that takes me a week to get out of.

thankfully though, there are things to look forward to. it's becoming spring which is a definite mood-lifter. jenny, rayya, me and maybe mark are going to amsterdam in less than 2 weeks. it will be an adventure. we're driving there. it will be insanity i think. i hope we make it out alive. but such are the experiences from which great stories are born. elizabeth is coming in the beginning of may. i am very excited about that. i love when i can show off my paris to people. i want to go visit john kolinksi too. he's a friend from last year newman. studying in munich. i have an open invitation. i just have to find the time and money. it will be done. so i keep positive and make the transition from american erin to french erin as best i can. check back with me in a couple days or so. the roughness of the transition should be over and i'll be upbeat.

for now, i'll lay in my french bed and remember american hugs. there's really nothing like them in the world. honestly.

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 18:41:15 GMT

livejournal can eat me. i wrote a semi-thoughtful, semi-touching, and perhaps even (do i dare to say it?) humorous entry about valentine's day last night. i wrote about past valentines days and how sometimes it's not deserving of the bashing it gets. and livejournal DELETED IT!!! something about how the site was read-only for the exact 2 seconds when i wanted to post somethings. i would go off swearing violently at them in french (my new favorite hobby) if i thought it would do any good.

in better news, i now have another babysitting job. monday afternoons i get to go pick up kids from their school and watch them until the mom gets home. i don't think there is a dad. if there was, he's very hidden. very very hidden. so that's a good 15 or 20 euros a week that i didnt have before. so rock on about that. super bowl party tomorrow. let us all hope that we can get everything connected so we actually watch this so called football game. everything will be fine i hope. we'll hope that the BDE comes through with drinks and whatnot and that emery doesnt find something else to yell at me about. good times.

well that's all folks for the moment. wouldnt want to get too carried away with updating...

a plus!

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 11:38:16 GMT

well yes so updating is not going so well. i think i will just use the excuse that ashley had in her journal that went something like "good girls keep diaries. bad girls don't have time." and i am a bad girl. yes. things are picking up here in france. january was kinda a sucky month for me. winter is so depressing here. it's just cold and rainy ALL THE TIME. and it doesn't get light out in the morning until like 8:45 which is no fun whatsoever. i never understood how much weather can change a person's mood. so as rayya and i have decided, hopefully the low point on this roller coaster is over and things can be good again. we were reminiscing about how good a month october was. it really was awesome. things can only improve and the fact that it's sunny right now is definitely helping.

things with xavier are good too. he gets under my skin sometimes and he's definitely different from anyone i've ever dated before (the whole french thing) but we're seeing where this goes.

oops must go now. this entry was bad. sorry.

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 08:30:30 GMT

i dont want to play the game anymore

sigh

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:24:28 GMT

Un peu fâchée contre EPIFUCK à ce moment... Grrrrrr....

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 17:07:18 GMT

i'm failing all my classes and have roughly 7 projects due right after Christmas break but what have i done this afternoon? write christmas cards, that's what. now i am going to go on a good long walk. take that.

Rememberings

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 12:47:59 GMT

My memory is quite faulty at times as well but here's a story as I remember it:

Before They Grew Up

It shouldn't have been that easy. Something should have gone wrong. Things fit too smoothly together. The three of them met practically the first day of freshman year. Girl, Boy, and Best Friend all wore triple XL white T shirts. They ate food. They walked together. She felt like she had found friends. She went to visit them. They plied her with hugs and candy and good conversation. Idyllic. She loved them both.

One night Girl was walking with Best Friend. They were on their way to somewhere. It doesn't matter where. It was night. Slightly chilly. Best Friend said it was obviously that Boy liked Girl. And asked if Girl liked Boy. Girl was taken aback. She'd never really considered it before. I don't know Girl said. Food for thought.

Life went on. School, friends, Things In General. Life was good. They know that now even if they didn't fully appreciate it at the time. Girl and Boy spent much time together. They were tight. He understood her. Or at least he tried. She felt comfortable with him, more comfortable than she'd ever been with anyone else. Even though he pestered her and upset her sometimes. So that was enough.

Night of November 11. Girl is in Boy's and Best Friend's room. They chat and hang out. Girl is worried about something. She's always worried about something, always having some crisis. She tells Boy about another boy in her French class who was bothering her. She says she doesn't understand and is tired. Boy tells Girl to lie down and relax. He tells her to picture a happy place. She tries to imagine but he's the imaginative one, not her. Her life is firmly planted in reality. She needs to work on her imagination he tells her. She's just tired. She dozes off. Lights turned down low.

Girl wakes but only opens her eyes a tiny bit. She realizes it's later. Boy is sitting in a chair next to her. Best Friend is asleep. Girl closes her eyes again as Boy speaks to her, thinking she's asleep. He tells her it's no wonder boys like her. She's wonderful. And if she'd let him, he'd make her the happiest Girl in the world. This makes a lump come to the back of her throat. Girl wants Boy to continue talking so she doesn't open her eyes. Boy takes Girl's hand. Girl closes her hand around Boy's. They sit like that for a while. Girl starts to feel bad that she is in Boy's bed while he is in the chair. She opens her eyes. His face is close to hers. She didn't anticipate this but it feels right. They kiss. She's happy. Not wildly happy but quietly happy. Happy in the way that makes her think that everything's going to be all right.

Eventually she scoots over so he can lie next to her. It's a one person bed but that makes cuddling all the more easier. Boy takes Girl in his arms. A single tear rolls down her cheek. Home.

pensive, slightly depressing entry

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 13:56:16 GMT

sigh... i'm in a weird mood lately. too much to think about. well at least too much for this bewildered american girl muddling her way through french life. i suppose life would be no fun if it were simple, right? as i told rayya last night, what's life for if not to get yourself into situations over your head and then try to figure your way out?

i'm not going crazy, not yet at least. i have too much common sense to go crazy. and as weird as that first paragraph may sound, i'm not down. i'm not sure where i am right now. i suppose you people deserve an explanation. though i am not sure who still reads this anymore since i never post anything. so Xavier and i are dating. Xavier is my french boy. he's what i may be getting in over my head with. holy cow that was a lot of prepositions in that last sentence. he's hard to explain and i don't even exactly know myself where we're going with this. i'm trying to take it slowly but "taking it slowly" is not a phrase that the french understand. and he dislikes to speak english as much as he tells me he's willing to. c'est bien fatiguant parfois. i think this is a valuable experience that everyone should try. try forming a working relationship when there's a massive communication gap. i thought i spoke french decently. the past three months have shown me i'm nowhere near being fluent. that's what no one at home understands. they think that because i've studies french for 3 years and because i've lived in france for 3 months, i must be able to communicate without any problems whatsoever. think again, people. there are days when you just want to say screw french and thank god for english speakers with whom you feel like you're somewhat on the same wavelength. this is what Xavier, all the other French, and everyone at home tries to understand but can't. the only ones who really understand, i think, are my american girls here. some days you're just so frickin' tired. you love the language, the country, everything. but sometimes there's just some sort of barrier in your head that makes it impossible to formulate even the smallest sentences and you despair of ever integrating. makes you appreciate your language and your quasi-ability to speak it (though my capacity to speak english correctly is going down the toilet) 40 million times more. it's usually a rockin' good time, this game of french living, but sometimes i just want a good old fashioned american hug...

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 19:57:48 GMT

eyes are burning. not sure why. i got 6 hours of sleep last night and while that's not ideal, it's certainly not anything out of the ordinary. i think i will go to bed very early tonight. i need to rectify some sort of bodily function, i'm pretty sure.

the two weeks of craziness have begun. if i was in america, the work i have to do in the next couple of weeks wouldn't really bother me overmuch but let's not forget that i'm in paris and that compounds the stress level a bit. that being said...

I ROCK. I SO GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE IN THE CLASS ON MY LAST FRENCH PAPER. WRITTEN IN FRENCH, WHICH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE. ALL THE CRAZY, SNOTTY FRENCH GIRLS CAN EAT IT!!!

ok now that i got that out of my system, and i shouldn't say the french girls are snotty. even if they are kinda mean sometimes. everything's excellent. i was a bit proud though. only a bit though because i still only got a 12/20. the french grading system is messed up. no one gets higher than like a 14 or 15 ever. ever ever. too bad my other grades have sucked hardcore though. when they transfer back to the US no one is going to let me into med school. sigh.

other note-worthy bits:
- i'm going skiing this weekend!
- went to see dan retzner in versailles last weekend. don't get me started on what kind of a night that was. sleeping arrangements were less than comfortable.
- ate meat for basically the first time since i've been here last night. i didn't really have a choice. it was yummy.
- thanksgiving dinner with the americans was fun at lauren's house on saturday. too bad i was grumpy.
- thanksgiving dinner number 2 at EPITECH on thursday. more fun to be had there.
- buying dangly earrings is addicting.
- i spend a crapload of money on my cell phone. it's depressing me.
- going home in less than 4 weeks! who's excited? me!
- am being taught the "art of french alcohol drinking." i despair of ever being chic enough for it.
- christmas lights are going up all around paris. about the most beautiful thing ever. oh wait, i live in the most beautiful city ever....

ca fait longtemps

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 12:17:43 GMT

because certain gentlemen send me nasty emails when i don't update, here we go. i'm really just lazy is all. i have so many things i think i should say but then i just get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things i should say that i don't say anything. which is too bad for those who wish to read of my adventures. i'm not denying that. maybe you should come have adventures with me, eh? then you wouldn't have to read about them.

ho hum, where to start? life continues to go well for me. granted probably one day it's all going to crash down on me and make me want to jump off the top of the eiffel tower but as of right now, i don't see that day coming any time soon. classes are probably the low point in my life but i'm not here to learn classroom stuff. even though the grades i bring back will probably make no one happy.

i've been made to think a lot the past couple of weeks. about life and my place in it. it helps when you get drinks and talk existentialism with a french guy. seriously, it makes my brain hurt. i went to chantilly (small town about 25 minutes outside of paris) last saturday. by myself. it was a rousing success. i really need to start doing more of the same sort of solitary adventuring. even though half the world doesn't understand why it was so awesome to be on my own. anyway, chantilly has this marvelous chateau. not too huge but beautiful. it had a moat! and 40 million cool paintings in the museum. and the grounds were awesome too. that's when i talked a lot to myself. rayya thinks it's bizarre that i talk out loud to myself but i've always done it. maybe that makes me crazy, i don't know. but sometimes saying things out loud re-affirms them a bit. more so than when you just think them. i talked in french, english, you name it. it was good to turn things over in my head for a while.

however, i have lost basically all desire to exercise. this is the one bad thing france has done to me. perhaps it's the diet. i don't eat right. i live on bread, chocolate, and tomatoes basically. and banana chips and other various dried fruits. i think it's the chocolate that's bad. i really should stop but i lack self-control. gotta find some of that one of these days.

i'm worried about lauren as well. she seems really out of it. i don't know what to do about it. if anything. sometimes there's a fine line between letting someone be and trying to get them to forget about what they're so occupied by. i don't know. i'm told i'm young and idealistic and i can't save the world. isn't moving around supposed to make you less idealistic? isn't it supposed to open your eyes to the reality of the world? it's bizarre what france has done to me. one doesn't usually go to the country where meat is such a staple item and become a vegetarian. i suppose it's something along the same lines. eh, you can't say that i always did what was expected of me, i suppose.

i was told last night that i'm fragile. it upset me. and caused me to think. maybe i don't stand up for myself enough. maybe i'm too laid back about some things. maybe i should work on that. see? this is what living here does to me! i may have been content in america but i certainly didn't have all these grand issues to think about. and voila a completely un-informative entry, totally incoherent. it'll have to do for now...

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 00:26:36 GMT

i would like everyone to know that i have a date with a french man.

i rock.

that is all.

onze

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 21:15:20 GMT

i'm falling in love i think. with this city, this country, this whole way and pace of life. i want to wrap myself so completely in paris and it's times like this past week that make me never want to leave. i've thrown myself out of my comfort zone and found myself in a whole new world and i'm loving it.

someone asked me the other day which do i prefer, america or france. i responded that while i love america and my home and all the people back there, if i was forced to live in france, i definitely could make a life of it here. i love this city, its dirtiness and crowdedness and all. and the french language is beautiful. i wish i could speak it 40 million times better than i can.

maybe i'm just on high point in the jeu of foreign living experience, but if i am, i like it. i'm in a good place right now. classes still aren't overly interesting and i have a boatload of things to do that i haven't done. tomorrow, tomorrow. the halloween party was successful far beyond my expectations. i was quite stressed out right before it. i am good at getting stressed out. i was stressed because i thought people wouldn't come and that the decorations would suck and that i had forgotten to do something important. but instead, the decorations looked a whole lot better in the dark and so many people came! i was super excited. and the pumpkin carving contest went over well meme que the french don't really go for pumpkin carving at all. xavier and i carved pumpkins together. xavier is forever climbing up on my good list. i felt as if rayya and i should stay until the end of the party since we were organizers and such. which means we missed the metro and were going to have to take a cab. which is pretty expensive. but even though xavier lives like 2 minutes from the school, he drove jenny, rayya, and myself home. he's a bit cocky since he has a lot of authority and knows it, but all around, he's a good guy. ah, napoleon :)...

lauren, rayya, and i had a fun afternoon/night. rayya and i went shopping today. i bought kickin' earrings for 2 euros. they are pink leopard print. they're actually kinda ugly but that's what makes them cool. rayya bought a dress for the super fancy fete that we are going to on friday. then we got coffee with lauren and headed back to the foyer to cook dinner. lauren and i then dyed our hair. she was a virgin to hair dyeing so it was fun even though hers isn't super different. mine is eggplant colored. it rocks.

my mom and aunt are coming on thursday. hooray! a plus!

dix?

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 12:26:05 GMT

right so i suck at updating. these last couple of weeks have been crazy and, for the most part, good. off the top of my head, it's hard to think of what i've done. however, all my classes have finally started. my week is pretty busy now but i don't have class on friday so that's a plus. or saturday either for that matter. some people have saturday classes. ewww. i am overwhelmed by the amount of literature classes i am taking. most of the profs seem sympathetic that i am american but i kind of already want to shoot myself so we'll see how the semester goes. u of i better give me credit for all this. spanish class also started. i like it but it hurts my head to be always switching back and forth between english, french, and spanish. hopefully i will get the hang of it. some of the peopel in the class seem to already know a decent amount of spanish even though it's a beginning class. either that or they just rock at languages. i think the prof thinks i'm retarded. alas.

in EPITECH news, i've been quasi-promoted! i now have the awesomest job ever! Rayya and i are now "party coordinators." we only have to lead conversation classes if we are short on hours for the month. otherwise, we occupy our time with planning parties and such. right now, we're planning the halloween party. it's this thursday. i really hope it goes off well. we were kind of thrown into the situation not knowing what's going on or what's expected of us. we're working with the BDE (kind of a student government organization but with a whole lot more power) so i'm hoping they haven't led us astray. on friday, we went with Xavier (president of BDE) to this mega-huge store to find decorations. seriously, this place was immense. like twice the size of Sam's Club and operating under the same sort of principle. we only found 4 pumpkins though. so we will have to find more. Xavier is my new favorite french person though. he's super nice and very very short. on friday, he convinced me to play paintball with the boys. i had never played paintball in my life and i kind of just hid in the corner. i gave Xavier the nickname Napoleon since he's very short and has a lot of power. so hooray for Xavier! but anyway, this new position rocks. i don't think Rayya is quite as enthusiastic about it as i am. however, she says she doesn't like Halloween. myself, i like planning parties and like even more having something to throw myself into that's not school.

i have also decided that spices are the way to survive on a very low food budget. i made veggie baked rice yesterday and put a lot of curry spice in it and it was excellent. i also wonder if it's possible to eat too many onions. i put onions in like everything i eat. it probably makes my breath reek but i'm not making out with people so it's ok i guess.

Lauren's boyfriend Karsten was here for the week. he left today. he's awesome. i like him a lot. good work, Lauren. it's got to be rough having a long distance relationship for a year. i don't think i could do it. maybe i could. doubtful though. i'm too restless for anything to stay concrete for long. hmmmm....

finally, i was very excited because Mike called me this morning from the IEMS Midterm Party. i knew it was yesterday and was sad i was missing it but then i was awakened this morning to a call from him! we talked for a bit and i also got to talk with Lauren (other one from home) and Danielle. Danielle is awesome because apparently she wore a shirt to this party that said "I got an A plus in French class" or something to that effect. and she was telling people she was dressed up like me. ahhh i get to have fun times with the IEMS crowd even when i am an ocean away. my friends from back home have been awesome so far. i was slightly worried that they'd forget me (stupid, i know) but this past week i've gotten a letter from Mindy, a card from Ashley, and a package from Elizabeth. all of which made me extremely happy. thanks guys. :)

ok i need to go read now, but one last thing. i have an apartment for next year! i'm living with Kari at Presidential. how awesome is that? one more thing i don't have to worry about and we're going to have a great year! a plus!

french men

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 22:46:04 GMT

DUDES!!! i had my first offer of a bona-fide romantic liaison with a french man tonight. needless to say, i did not follow up on it because i am at home writing this but i feel as if this is one thing i can check off my list of "things to do (or get done to me) while in france." his name was benoit and he made friends with us at the bar and then left when we did. he was an engineer. i seem to have a thing going with those. and he was trying really hard but i was just like "eh." and so i left with jenny and rayya. if he had asked for my phone number, i probably would have given it but i wasn't about to be like "take me benoit you crazy french man!" ah the french are weird. but this night was a success, albeit in a very strange way...

My Life in Song (this took me way longer than it should have. i am so indecisive...)

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 20:54:13 GMT

Opening credits: Carrickfergus – Charlotte Church
Waking up: Morning Has Broken – Cat Stevens
Average day: Woke Up In A Car - Something Corporate
Childhood: Puff the Magic Dragon – Peter, Paul, and Mary
First date: We Danced – Brad Paisley
Falling in love: Don’t Kiss Me Like This – Toby Keith
Love scene: Fields of Gold – Eva Cassidy
Fight scene: Du Hast – Rammstein
Breaking up: Breakup Day – Starting Line
Pissed off at the Breakup: Song for the Dumped – Ben Folds Five
Getting back together: Picture – Sheryl Crow & Kid Rock
Secret love: I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore – REO Speedwagon
Disconnected: Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters – Elton John
Life's okay: Walking in Memphis - Lonestar
Lust: Because the Night – 10000 Maniacs
Petty argument: Breakfast at Tiffanys – Deep Blue Something
Mental breakdown: Whisky Lullaby – Brad Paisley & Alison Kraus
Unraveling before breaking: Top of the World – Dixie Chicks
Recovery from Breaking: Angel – Sarah MacLachlan
Love Angst: Hallelujah – Rufus Wrainwright
Driving: No Surprises - Radiohead
Learning a lesson: Walkaway Joe – Trisha Yearwood
Job Hell: Julie – Five for Fighting
Death of Someone Close: Piano Song – Starting Line
Deep thought: Reflection – Disney’s Mulan
Flashback: That Summer – Garth Brooks
Night on the Town: All That Jazz – Chicago Soundtrack
Partying: Super Rad – Aquabats
Happy dance: Birdhouse in Your Soul – They Might be Giants
Regretting: Is There Life Out There – Reba McIntire
Long night alone: 14 Fevrier – Nolwenn Leroy
At Peace: I Will Not Take These Things For Granted – Toad the Wet Sprocket
Death scene: The Lady of Shallot – Loreena McKennitt
Closing credits: Dueling Violins – Lord of the Dance

neuf

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 15:47:48 GMT

time for an update i suppose. it's monday. this weekend was ok. not spectacularly wonderful but in general, good. i suppose i should start back with wednesday because that's when finals were over and the weekend really began. wednesday night we went to man ray, a restaurant/night club. there was this party sponsored by the young democrats of paris or something of that nature. it was supposed to get people to vote since you could register there. i kept my mouth shut that i usually align myself more along republican lines. but there was free wine and i felt chic. (people have been saying that they don't understand when i use the word "chic". i'll make a deal with you people. send me physical mail and i'll reward you by telling you what it means. and yes, physical mail. like the kind you have to mail to france. i like getting mail a whole lot.) so yes, the democrats' party was fun. lots of americans. thursday i did nothing exciting really. i had a class with my EPITECH guys. see two entries previous. friday i worked a TOEIC all day at EPITECH. TOEICs are english tests that the guys have to take. basically i proctored it and made sure they didn't cheat. i worked with mary and some other girls who were nice. friday night we went to watch the presidential debates at some restuarant/bar. again it was a very democratic crowd. after that we bought some food and cooked at noah's (grad student) place. saturday lauren and i went shopping. i got a totally hot shirt. it's hot pink and shows some cleavage and has ruffles and things. i have to find a club or something where i can wear it. it's hot, seriously. and then satuday night was "nuit blanche." lots of places are open all night. we bought cheese and bread and wine and hummus and ate them down by the seine. very french. all the other people continued to go out but i was tired and had a headache so i went home. sunday i did basically nothing. until around 7:30 when we went to the Frog and Princess to watch the bears game. today i met a cute french boy from EPITECH. just thought i would throw that out there. but i am tired of typing so i am going to stop.

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 21:49:56 GMT

it's one of those homesick kind of nights. seems as if i'm in one of the valleys on this roller coaster foriegn living experience. or so the analogy goes. sigh... :)

huit

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 17:29:44 GMT

so i feel like i'm sucking at life today. not sure why that is. actually i have a couple of ideas but nothing concrete. plus getting up at 10:30 today did not help. i feel so lazy when i sleep past like 8am. i'm crazy. we all know this. i couldn't get up any energy to deal with my EPITECH (french engineering school where i am tutoring in english) guys today. i think i need to drink more coffee beforehand so i can be chipper. today i didn't even care that they were speaking in french a lot of the time even though i'm supposed to get on their cases about speaking english. they're sweet boys though. and remy always has lots to say. however, on the plus side, remy kissed me goodbye. my first kiss from a french boy! now before we all get carried away here, let's remember that this was merely the goodbye/hello kiss that all french people give each other. you know, the kiss on both cheeks one. i'm really trying hard to make it look natural when i do it. another plus, some guy named pierre was also in my class today. my good friends back in america, tom byrne and bob wille, we're very adamant that i bring back no pierres and no jacques. well as of right now, i've met my first real-live pierre. he's a sweetie too. they all are so far. in a completely platonic and friendly way. i get fired if i have romantic liaisons with any of them. which is certainly a pity. however, emery (guy in charge of the EPITECH program) says that if we fall in love, he's fine with that but we have to quit. this is what i keep in mind, i suppose. i have to make sure any french boy i fall in love with is worth more than 300 euros a month. :) but i'm not so good on the love front, so as of right now it hasn't posed any problems.

my room is a mess. camille (french roommate) must hate my disorganization. that and my crazy sleeping habits. sigh. anyway, i haven't eaten anything since the toast this morning so i am going to go cherche some food. a plus!

Dune

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 09:52:58 GMT

i found this quote on lindsay's profile and i liked it and didn't want to forget it. so i am posting it here. plus i have sentimental ties to Dune. :) i could write quite a bit about my reponse to this quote but i have neither the time nor the desire right now. peut-etre plus tard:

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fear's path, and only I will remain." -Dune